Dear lockdown 2,

yes 6 out of 5? I know … but I thought I’d take my last chance to write you a letter… it might not even be my last chance actually… I mean, just because you’re not going to be around for the rest of December… ( hopefully)… doesn’t mean you won’t be back next year. Are you sad?

Well, on some level you’re still going to be around in some way anyway.. “substantial meal”? Did you hear about this? I was on the phone with my best friend Feli a few days ago .. she’s German and lives in Berlin.. when I explained her this concept she didn’t stop laughing for a good five minutes.. haha .. in my description it was a sandwich though…

It really would have been too much work to explain what a Cornish pasty is and the point might have got lost along the endless description, and as a certain person keeps mentioning… I use too many words anyway , so I thought I’d cut down the story by using a sandwich.. which now has turned into a very long story, are you asleep yet? I can hear you yawning.. so I guess you’re still awake yay.

What did you do today? Rested I guess… stayed inside? stayed in lockdown haha, drank a lot of hot drinks maybe? Yeh I did that too, until I went out to meet up with a photographer friend of mine, who used to be a fashion photographer and who actually shot my last collection on a boat. I thought it could be fun to meet up while you’re still around and photograph some funky outfits .. along the canal.

So that’s what I did, at some point all I wore over my tights and warm but skintight underwear was a dress made of pearls.. haha .. dear me it was cold, I could hardly move at the end, my fingers had the same colour as the white beads my dress was made of, but whatever, I thought it’s ok if it gives a good photo… unfortunately I have a tendency to pull the dumbest faces when there’s a camera on me… is it insecurity maybe? unconscious insecurity. Quite possible.

Do you ever feel insecure? I believe you would… you’re only rarely around and talked about, I mean, this was your year really.. but in a general sense not really. Poor you , but at least you don’t have to worry that you’ll be forgotten. None of us will ever forget you. You have a special place in all our hearts … ha.. it’s not the nicest place but it’s something.

What are you doing for Christmas anyway? Hide in some corner? Celebrate with your brother? Well, on some level you’re celebrating it with all of us and we with you, you’re definitely a hot topic I’d say. I will do the crazy… go back to hang with family … a proper German Christmas .. but in a different way , as my family does things slightly differently from your average German. I’m not going alone .. and I’m very much looking forward to this time away from London.

Talking of London, you won’t believe it but I just had someone on the phone who lives in London in Ontario and even she talked of you, you really are global wow and she’s the Queen of Hearts. You’re the reason I branch out so far for my podcast, which really is such a joy. Thank you for that. I’ve learned so much about different time zones and the queer scene in different places.. it’s a bit like traveling but just with the brain.

Luckily enough I’ve got a massive pumpkin soup on the hob so I won’t freeze inside tonight and I’ve got another bottle of the beautiful Gluehwein … or is it the same that I mentioned a few days ago? Hm… well I was supposed to call my new work place as pubs open again tomorrow.. but I’m feeling a bit reluctant, dear me … lucky you that you don’t have that situation… on some level what happens from tomorrow is better for you because you worked full time 24 hours for the entire last month… that’s hard. It seems because of you they even shut most of the grocery shops in the other London.

It feels like this might be the last letter to you for a while … I kinda got attached to the whole process, I’ll have to find someone else to write to now I guess… I hope you don’t feel offended. You can still read the coming ones if you fancy it … you’ll get bored at some point for sure, if no one talks about you.

aaanyway, it was nice chatting and I guess … see you next time.


letter 5